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First, it was pursued by epidemiologists seeking behavioral categories that would offer better analytical concepts for the study of disease-risk than identity-based categories such as "gay", " bisexual ", or "straight" , because a man who self-identifies as gay or bisexual is not necessarily sexually active with men, and someone who identifies as straight might be sexually active with men. Second, its usage is tied to criticism of sexual identity terms prevalent in social construction literature which typically rejected the use of identity-based concepts across cultural and historical contexts. MSM and gay refer to different things: MSM refers to sexual activities between men, regardless of how they identify, whereas gay can include those activities but is more broadly seen as a cultural identity.
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A woman's story – I married a gay man | NSW Women Partners of Bisexual Men

For this analysis, we excluded SSS participants who had never had sex or reported partnerships that were not exclusively heterosexual. Men who reported same-sex sexual behavior since age 14 were eligible. Oral informed consent was obtained from all participants. To increase comparability across all surveys, we restricted analyses to participants aged 18—39 years. This denominator was the sum of the number of interviews, refusals, and an estimate of the number of eligible individuals among those for whom eligibility could not be determined Although the exact wording of questions varied across surveys, most measures were similar.
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A woman’s story – I married a gay man

But my heart also went out to his wife. For she is now part of a group of which I am myself a member — a straight woman who, unwittingly, married a gay man. There are a lot of us out there, but this surprisingly large community is as closeted as any 19th-century MP.
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What should I do? I'm a gay man, but I'm married to a woman and we've had kids together. I suppose I only really admitted to myself that I was gay when it was already too late. Obviously we've built a life together, and I don't want to leave her but I want to be gay too. Is this possible or am I being selfish to even consider it?
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